


Of Death and Divas

by demonipsimus



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games), Super Smash Brothers, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, im so sorry, not meant to be taken seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 11:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10785966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonipsimus/pseuds/demonipsimus
Summary: Bayonetta ends up in the Surface World, and Ghirahim is very confused, jealous and slightly turned on.





	Of Death and Divas

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry; I wrote this ages ago but I felt like sharing this madness with the world.

The faithful servant draped himself over his master’s monstrous, scaly arm and brushed a lock of silvery white hair out of his face. Ghirahim cared so deeply for his wielder (perhaps a little more than was appropriate), and seeing Demise in this troubled state left him unsure what exactly to do.

‘Master… whatever is the matter?’ His voice was nasal, and was usually laced with heavy sarcasm, but now it trembled in apprehension. ‘I’ve never seen you like this before.’

The larger man furrowed his brow, wondering whether or not he should share his troubles. Ghirahim was a devout servant, and always useful, but his emotions often let him get carried away. Deciding he could trust the sword spirit, he sighed and rumbled in his deep voice:

‘Lately I have been sensing...ancient magic nearby… older than anything I have ever experienced before.’

‘Older than even you, master? Then that could only be the three goddesses; what could they possibly-’

‘Older than the goddesses.’

Ghirahim’s fringe fell back in his face again, but he was too curious in what he was being told to bother fixing it. Instead he stared up at Demise, bewildered, intrigued, and slightly in love. As far as he knew, there was nothing older than the goddesses. The legend of the realm stated that before Nayru, Din and Farore, there had been only chaos. Before he could open his mouth to ask, his master explained.

‘Before our world, there was another...’

‘Another?’ This news was strange and confusing, but the demon believed it without question. ‘Was it… like ours?’

‘Yes, in some ways… although ours is but a child compared to theirs. They too, had realms of light, chaos and darkness, and like ours, they could only coexist peacefully for so long. The people there, the ones born from the chaos, they… also favoured the light, murdering any of the equivalent of our forces on sight.’

Ghirahim shuddered, remembering the way that Hylia’s armies had slain so many demons without mercy, so many of his kind… if he had not become bound to Demise’s sword in exchange for his freedom, he too would surely have died. Now he was the last of his kind left, but that no longer bothered him. There existed another, artificial sword spirit , but she belonged to Hylia’s armies of the light.

‘What can we do?’  
‘Don’t look so sympathetic for them. I’m sensing old, old magic somewhere within Skyview Temple, and you are going to go and investigate. I want to know what’s going on. Don’t eliminate any threats unless you absolutely have to.’

The demon jumped up to attention at the important task he had been given.

‘Yes master! I will not let you down...’ he said with a lick of his lips, excited at the prospect of some action, ‘You can put your faith in me.’

With a soft chuckle and a click of his fingers, he was gone.

\--------------

‘Ugh.’

Ghirahim wrung his head in his hands. He’d searched the temple completely, and he hadn’t found a single thing. There was something suspicious going on, though… for starters, he couldn’t find any of his regular Bokoblin grunts who usually guarded the temple from intruders, and he could sense dark magic in the air. The only room he hadn’t checked was the main chamber, but that had been locked for centuries, how could anyone possibly get in? Still, he thought, it was worth a look; he wasn’t sure what he could expect from something from a time before his universe had even come to be.

He sauntered over to the huge door, expecting to see the heavy puzzle-locked panels tightly shut, but instead a different sight met his eyes. The lock was removed, and the entrance to the most sacred part of the temple had been left slightly ajar. The Bokoblins were such hopeless cases, honestly. Expecting something a little more interesting now, he swung the doors open in a dramatic gesture, taking a good look inside.

A figure clad in tight, black clothing stood at the other end of the room with their back to him, apparently not caring for his entrance. Even from this distance, Ghirahim could tell that this unknown intruder was at least a good foot taller than him, and their body looked… distinctly feminine. Blood was splattered around the room, and the mangled corpses of some of his demon scrubs lay littered about. One, apparently still alive, squealed out loudly, but was silenced with a swift kick to the face from a killer heel. The figure knelt down and stroked the creature’s face, shushing it into its eternal slumber, before standing up again and speaking loudly, still not facing the sword spirit.

‘You know, I don’t appreciate being taken from behind.’

At last, the woman turned to face him. Ghirahim inhaled sharply as he drew nearer. Nobody he had ever opposed has stood before him so confidently, body held straight and tall… and what a body it was. She stared down her glasses at him, noticing that for a fraction of a second his confident exterior faded and his eyes wandered over her flawless figure, coming to rest on her exposed cleavage.

‘Eyes up, dear,’ she purred, extending her gloved hand, propping his chin up on the end of her gun. ‘Ah… what exactly do we have here? You’re not like any Infernal I’ve ever seen.’

Snapping out of his gaze, Ghirahim summoned his knives and held them ready, biting back with a remark of his own: ‘I should be asking what you are, not the other way around. I haven’t got time for silly games, and I’m not in one of my patient moods.’

She merely chuckled, and dealt him a sharp kick that sent him flying backwards, but the demon’s fast reflexes meant that he landed on his feet. 

‘Come now, you’re planning on getting rough and you don’t even know my name yet… didn’t mummy teach you any manners?’

He scowled, and stood up straight as she swayed closer, but still felt a bruise to his confidence. The height difference between them bothered him, and he prized himself on his ability to get under the enemy’s skin with invasive banter, but she had stripped him of that skill, and he was starting to feel like he was becoming the victim. Nonetheless, he put on a calm face and replied,

‘You may call me... Lord Ghirahim.’ He emphasized his title, despite the fact that he knew she wouldn’t show him the respect he thought he deserved. ‘And you are?’

‘Bayonetta.’ She pushed her glasses up and licked her lips playfully. Ghirahim felt like he was starting to run out of tricks.

The silence in the room lingered for a moment or two, before the two of them launched into a spectacular fight. Bullets and knives flew through the air, and each of them possessed their own unique style of fighting that perplexed the other somewhat. Ghirahim relied on force and reflex, but Bayonetta seemed to dodge him with ease and move at impossible speeds. She had to be using magic somehow, he thought to himself. Even without that, she was incredibly agile, and the demon was certainly kept busy blocking every blow. She motioned to shoot him, but he teleported behind her and dealt one of his trademark smacks just as she turned his way. The witch stepped backwards and let out a mock moan.

‘Oh, so you want to play naughty… why didn’t you say?’

‘My dear, I never play clean.’

In a flash of diamonds, his magic brought a reanimated golem crashing through the temple wall. He didn’t care about destroying the important building, he just wanted this woman off her high horse. He cackled maniacally; ‘So, I’m the Demon Lord who presides over this land; just what are you?’

‘Strictly speaking, I’m not supposed to exist here, so I suppose there’s no harm in… revealing myself.’ She winked and got close in his face, then leaped out of the way to avoid the golem’s fist that came crashing down. ‘I’m what your lot call a witch.’

‘A witch, hm? Funny, I would have used a different word to describe you, although it sounds pretty similar-’

The golem swung round again clumsily, nearly hitting them both. Its fist got stuck in the aging wall, and as it pulled free, the room collapsed around them. They were now fighting out in the open, rubble and dust tumbling everywhere, crushing the Bokoblin corpses it came into contact with.

Bayonetta glanced up at the rocky creature and smiled.

‘My my, you are a big boy aren’t you? Luckily, I have just the ticket.’

Ghirahim stared in awe (and slight lust) as the witch’s clothes, which had apparently been part of her hair the whole time, shrank away, leaving her totally naked. The demon had truly been caught off guard, and despite her still teasingly censoring herself with stray locks of hair, he couldn’t help but gawp. She struck a pose, and shouted something in an ancient language that not even he could decipher, punctuating it with another lick of her lips which sent embarrassing shivers down his spine. How dare she use his own tactics against him like this, and so well too! A feminine yet demonic looking beast, many times bigger than the golem, rose up between them and took a hold of it, smashing it against the rubble over and over until it was reduced to little more than rubble itself. Bayonetta ran a hand over her curved form and let out another questionable noise, enjoying the destruction she was seeing. Her retaliation then disappeared as quickly as it had come into existence, allowing its summoner to re-clothe herself.

Speech faltering slightly, Ghirahim conjured his obsidian blade and poised ready for action. ‘Come and fight me then, I’ve had enough of this messing about.’

Once again they lunged into a fight, but this time the sword spirit’s moves were a little sloppier. He was losing his cool and they both knew it. She made short work of him, and a few stinging kicks later, he was on the floor. She sauntered over and straddled him, making sure that he couldn’t escape, being too tired to use any teleportation magic. In a last attempt at inflicting pain, he went to punch her, but she caught his fist and laughed at him.

‘Bad boy...’ she mocked, before realizing something had changed beneath her. ‘And you’d better put _that_ down.’

The demon didn’t even care anymore. He knew he was in for a right royal punishing either way, and he’d rather receive it from this witch than from his cruel master.


End file.
